10 Possible Sources of Illegal Drugs Found in Adrienne Martin

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Prosecutors don't know, and August Busch IV isn't saying. Here then is Daily RFT's list of ten likely sources of the lethal amounts of cocaine and oxycodone (now known as a "Huntleigh Highball") found in Adrienne Martin's blood.

And we're not talking about caffeine...
  • And we're not talking about caffeine...
1. Gakkers, the God of Cocaine, visited Martin in a shower of blow and made love to her while Augie slept.

2. She thought she was snorting harmless bath salts.

3. Keith Hernandez dropped by to say hello; kilo fell out of his back pocket.*

4. Cocaine and oxycodone were original ingredients in Anheuser-Busch's failed alcoholic energy drink, B to the E.

5. Ultra-rich people naturally secrete cocaine from their pores when the market passes 10,000.

6. Washington Avenue did it. All coke comes from Washington Avenue.

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7. Rush Limbaugh's old stash.

8. They were engaging in a little bedroom roleplaying. Auggie was playing Red Auerbach. Adrienne was Len Bias being selected first in the NBA draft.

9. An obliging Dr. Feelgood.

10. The online pharmacy PartyLikeBeerBaron.com.

*Incidentally, the Baseball Writers Association of America would like to note that Adrienne Martin is still eligible for Cooperstown, as no steroids were found in her system.

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