So the Extreme Midget Wrestling Federation
event slated for Thursday in Cape Girardeau is probably canceled. Yeah.
That's because (according to the Southeast Missourian
) the state of Missouri has declared that
little people are athletes, not entertainers, and must follow licensing guidelines for promoters, referees and wrestlers.
Wait -- who's declared this? The Missouri Office of Athletics
, whose mission is apparently two-fold: (1) To protect the health and safety of participants in blood and contact sports, and (2) To make sure Daily RFT
has as little fun as possible on Thursday nights.
Sure sure, we know the state gov't is holding the line on this one purely out of
concern for the safety of the midget wrestlers (it occurs to me I'll never again get to write
that sentence). However, the harder Missouri cracks down, the
more midget wrestling jobs will move across our state borders.
Don't believe it? Consider
the fact that Skyler Ward
, a EMWF promoter told a reporter that:
group doesn't often perform in Missouri because it has more rules than
other states, including requiring athlete physicals and blood tests for
HIV and hepatitis.
We challenge congressional candidates
and Jo Ann Emerson
to explain to voters how southeast
Missouri will stop hemorrhaging midget wrestling jobs. Go ahead,
think about it. We can wait. Until Thursday.