As part of a responsible drinking promotion, Anheuser-Busch has announced that it will be giving some lucky St. Louis drunks free cab rides this weekend! Hooray!
The key word there, however, is some. A-B will only pay for some cab rides. And other conditions apply, conditions that your drunk ass may or may not forget as you're stumbling around tomorrow and Saturday night, thinking that you're literally home free with the first cab you see.
For one thing, not all the cabs in the city are going fare-free. If only, friends. If only. A-B will be funding "several hundred" rides, according to the Lager Heads blog
at the Post-Dispatch
. Also, you've gotta make sure you don't fall into just any cab--only Laclede Cab is partnering with A-B in this weekend's promotion.
The conditions don't end there! The free cabs will be roaming from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. Friday and Saturday nights, and only trips from a public place (bar!) to a private residence (home! Or your booty call's home!) will be eligible.
Also also, it's not even guaranteed that your ride is paid for, after you go to all the effort of getting drunk, finding the right cab at the right time, and remembering your home address. Riders won't find out if their fare is comped until the end of the ride! "Like with Cash Cab," writes Lager Heads. If that means that A-B's ride program is totally rigged and set up for people to lose, then yes, it's exactly like Cash Cab. (Not that we're bitter or anything.)