13 Reasons Your Exotic Dancer Hates You

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It's a three-day weekend for most of us, but not for the hardest working women in show business: your local exotic dancer.

With that in mind, Daily RFT recently contacted some of our favorite East St. Louis strippers to ask them what we can do to make their Labor Day a bit more enjoyable/tolerable this year.

Here, then, is a list they helped us craft -- a list of things NOT to do.

1. We are professionals, not trained animals. We do not do "tricks" for dollar bills.

2. Ejaculating during a lap dance and then showing your friends the wet spot on your pants is not a badge of honor.

3. Asking if my boobs are mine is going to get you the answer: "Yes. They belong to me."

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4. Asking if my boobs are real is going to get you the answer: "Yes. They're real expensive." And, no, you can't touch them to tell your wife how good they feel.

5. Please don't blow on me. I may be "hot," but your beer breath is not cooling me off and it certainly isn't making me hot and bothered.

6. No matter how much "swagger" you think you have, you're not getting my real number. No matter how "in love" with you I pretend I am, when your money's gone...so am I. It's a strip club. So, stop asking.

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7. Stop yelling: "Show me the pink."

8.  Please don't wave money over the bachelor's head and tell us to do "something special" because he's the bachelor. That's what the bachelor dance is for.

9. Stop wearing Adidas warm-up pants to the club. I don't care if it feels more real because they're thinner than jeans. It's just creepy.

10. Don't ask me my age. You're either implying that I'm too young or old to be dancing, and I'm just going to answer: "How old do you want me to be?"

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11. Don't ask me how much I make, either. That's between me and the IRS. Period.

12. Telling us to come back when we're naked is not going to get us to come back at all.

13. A one-dollar tip, really? Can I at least get one dollar for each breast you had smashed in your face a second ago? Thanks.
 

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