"I've got this thing and it's (expletive) golden. And I'm just not giving it up for (expletive) nothing."
Look, friends, maybe it's time to admit it: We all have kind of a lot in common with impeached-and-disgraced former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich. We don't get to spend enough time with our families, people at work just don't treat us right, and, gosh dangit
, why can't anyone appreciate just how shiny and luscious our hair is? That is an achievement to be recognized, people!
Now, with the help of The State Journal-Register
and your cell phone, you can let your inner Blago shine. The SJ-R has cut up bits of the FBI's recordings
of the Guv's felonious phone conversations and posted them for your use and enjoyment.
What better way to vent your frustration with life and all its
difficulties than to let this mini-rant say it for you, loud and clear,
whenever someone wants to get in touch with you:
I'm left with gridlock, a (expletive) (expletive) off speaker,
potential impeachment, and a (expletive) president who's all take and no
"Hello? President Obama?...Mom? Yeah, you're all
take and no give too."
This one, though a little long for a
ringtone, could be our very favorite of the bunch:
it, I gotta tell you: I don't wanna be governor for the next two
years. I wanna get going. I'll, I, this has been two (expletive)
(expletive) years where I'm doing the best I can trying to get through a
brick wall and find ways around stuff but it's like just (expletive) my
family and time is passing me by and I'm stuck. It's no good. It's no
good. I gotta get moving. The whole world's passing me by and I'm stuck
in this (expletive) job as governor now."
Aren't we all,
Rod? Aren't we all. Oops, that went on for a while. Hey, new voicemail!