Missouri Lawmakers: Keep Your Semi-Nude Body at Least Six Feet Away From Me, Please


A Senate bill aimed at regulating sexually oriented businesses moved one step closer to becoming law yesterday.

Senators in Jefferson City gave initial approval to the bill, clearing it for final vote next week and passage to the House.

The legislation, sponsored by Senator Matt Bartle (R-Kansas City), restricts sexually oriented business from operating within 1,000 feet of a pre-existing school, house of worship, state-licensed day care, public library, public park, residence, or other sexually oriented business.

It also prohibits a sex shop employee from "knowingly appearing nude" while at work. (The bill doesn't say how/why someone wouldn't realize that he or she is nude.) And if appearing "semi-nude" employees must stay at least "six feet from the patrons and at least eighteen inches from the floor in a room that is at least 600 square feet."

Err, okee-dokee.