This is What Happens When You Run a Meth Lab at a Cemetery.


Meth heads -- so long as they show up to work and don't steal anything -- generally make outstanding employees. Think about it: their energy is boundless and they never lose focus so they can work tirelessly for hours on end. There's a reason the Nazis gave the stuff to their foot soldiers.

Trouble is, after awhile meth turns people into paranoid zombies that usually forget to show for work and end up stealing something.

So you can imagine what would happen if someone who operates a meth lab was also in charge of running an entire cemetery. Oh wait, you don't have to imagine. It actually (allegedly) happened in Wood River, Illinois.

The Alton Telegraph recently told the tale of 48-year-old William C. Work.

Work was charged last week with felony methamphetamine manufacturing, unlawful methamphetamine child endangerment, and possessions of methamphetamine manufacturing materials.

After local police received a tip from a confidential informant, a deputy from an Illinois State Police drug task force paid a visit to Work's home -- a home that happens to share the same address as Woodland Hill Cemetary.

The cemetary was already under investigation from state officials for "sloppy operation." When the cops arrived they found lithium batteries, lye, and camp stove fuel -- just a handful of the lovely ingredients for a potent home-cooked batch of crank. Work, who already has one meth manufacturing conviction under his belt, was later charged with manufacturing more than 900 grams of the stuff.

Predictably, his duties at the cemetery took a back seat to his drug cooking operation. Writes the Telegraph:
Families whose loved ones are buried at Woodland Hill have complained that dirt has been left piled on grave markers, equipment has been left sitting on gravesites and equipment used to dig graves has damaged tombstones.

People have said Work has failed or has been slow to react to complaints of poor maintenance. The Madison County Buildings and Lands Department has issued citations for county ordinance violations, and some of the problems have been corrected.
The Belleville News-Democrat reports that Work's brother -- not a meth head -- has since taken over cemetery operations and is cleaning things up. If he needs to squeeze a few extra hours out of his employees there's something he ought to try...

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