Lawmaker Wants to Rub Out Prosthetic Penises

by

comment
When it comes to HB1280, law is sausage.
  • When it comes to HB1280, law is sausage.
Missouri state representative Jeff Roorda (D-Barnhardt) isn't a total stiff. He doesn't find much humor in plastic penises but acknowledges that the apparatuses occasionally serve a legitimate purpose.

"There's no good reason to have one -- maybe for Halloween or bar tricks," concedes Roorda to the Associated Press.

Bar tricks?

Last week Roorda introduced legislation he promises to be hard on criminals -- really hard -- by toughening Missouri's penalties for people who cheat on drug and alcohol tests.

Roorda's bill (HB 1280) makes it a felony for using any chemical kits or devices (such as the infamous Whizzinator) for the purpose of falsifying a drug or alcohol test. The bill also makes it a misdemeanor to sell or possess a chemical kit for falsifying such tests.

The good news? It's still legal to have prosthetic genitalia so long as you're not using it to cheat on a drug exam. Using it for Halloween -- or just clowning around -- is still perfectly legal. 

Tags

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Riverfront Times Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the Riverfront Times Club for as little as $5 a month.