Illinois Doctor in Trouble For DUIs Uses Fuzzy Math to Fool Court


  • mugshot via
  • Dr. Charles Earnshaw
On Tuedsay, Dr. Charles Earnshaw of Alton, Illinois pleaded guilty to driving under the influence and unlawful use of a weapon. As part of the plea deal, prosecutors agreed to drop other weapons and DUI charges the doctor was facing.

The judge in the case also ruled that Earnshaw would face no penalty since he'd abided by court-imposed restrictions for the past 42 months, including a curfew, avoiding places that serve alcohol, and meeting with a probation officer.

The Belleville News-Democrat details the incidents that led to the plea:
In March 2007, Wood River police arrested him for driving under the influence.

In January 2006, Bethalto police arrested him on charges of driving under the influence of alcohol, impersonating a police officer and unlawful use of a weapon. Bethalto police said Earnshaw had an empty bottle of vodka in his coat pocket, had a Glock 9 mm pistol in his boot and claimed to be a deputy sheriff.
Earnshaw--whose medical license was suspended in 2007 for "gross negligence, unprofessional conduct, habitual and excessive use of drugs and alcohol, non-therapeutic prescribing, immoral conduct, failure to keep patient records and controlled substance violations" --- told the court that he'd learned from his mistakes and had sought treatment for his drinking problem.

According to the BND's report, he also claimed it has been "1,337 days and counting" since he's had a drink.

Trouble is, Earnshaw's numbers don't quite add up.

Subtract 1,337 days from October 13, 2009 and by our calculation, that would mean the last time Earnshaw imbibed was Thursday, December 15 2005 -- a month before either of his drunk driving arrests.

Quoth the Madison County prosecutor handling the case: "the criminal justice system goal is to not only punish criminal conduct, but to restore those offenders that deserve it to their community. In this case, because of the specific facts and circumstances, it seems the system has worked."

Then again, how can you be expected to crunch numbers after draining an entire bottle of vodka? 

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