"Tebow is six feet three and 245 pounds, all thick polygons and smooth flat planes and inescapable corn-fed handsomeness. He's wearing a billowy white shirt and loose-fitting jeans that somehow only underscore the solidity of his bulk, like a tarpaulin draped over a concrete pylon. You can see why coaches have always wanted to deploy his body as a battering ram."
Oh my. So what I'm getting here is he's awful big and awful muscley and awful handsome. And someone wants to use him as a battering ram. Is that a euphemism? Okay.
"He looks smaller in person than on TV or on a stage. Something to do with the geometry of his body, the relentless blockiness; distance turns Tebow into a cartoon. Close-up he's rounder, reassuringly 3-D, wearing a sea blue T-shirt and long ivory shorts."
Ivory shorts? Really? Hey, maybe he's just being descriptive. That's what I choose to believe. But there's something about this whole thing that sounds a bit like a fourteen-year-old girl's journal, don't you think?
"His chin is stubbly. He smells strongly of deodorant, and his thick-lashed eyes are impressively serene..."
Okay, seriously. His thick-lashed eyes? And what's that you were saying about his scent? I kept expecting the words, "musky, almost... sensual," to crawl across the page at some point. I have the people from Harlequin on Line 2, and they are most definitely interested. However, they're going to need some notes on the texture of the skin surrounding his navel. What can you give me?
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