But my failings as a person make me a fantastic judge of other people. Well, failed people, at any rate. That's why I ended up in this line of work. It takes a thief to catch a thief, and it takes a self-hating dumb bastard to catch a self-hating dumb bastard who happens to be balling the jewelry off the company whore.
So if you want that other dumb bastard caught, that one you married, I'm your man.