"And That's Why You Don't Use a One-Armed Person to Scare Someone"

by

Zealous high school principals have been using "scared straight" style presentations in the school auditorium to warn teens about the dangers of drunk driving for decades, probably since the first hillbilly hopped-up on moonshine wrapped his Model T around a tree and lived to tell a horrific tale about it. 

For baby boomers it was the infamous "The Bottle and The Throttle" video, a highlight reel of gruesome drunk driving accident footage. Today, the Post-Dispatch reports on the latest, local version of the  "This could happen to you..." routine meant to scare the bejesus out of thirsty, lead-footed high schoolers headed into prom season.

Belleville native Sarah Panzau partied non-stop after a Cardinals game in August 2003 then got behind the wheel (with an impressive .308 B.A.C), and flipped her car just east of the Mississippi on I-64. Now she's a scarred amputee on a mission to keep kids from repeating her mistake.

It's easy to agree with Panzau's message (seriously, don't drink and drive), but if three hilarious seasons of Arrested Development and the running gag of J. Walter Weatherman taught the world anything, it's that you shouldn't use a one-armed person to teach someone a lesson.

comment