You know, every day I sit down at the computer terminal here in Rundown Headquarters (also known as my mother's basement), and I start tapping away at the keys. My goal is to try and come up with something that is either interesting, funny, informative, odd, or maybe all of the above.
Some days it's easy. The words just flow out on to the page, and I never need the backspace key. Other days, I struggle and fight for every phrase, just grinding it out until finally some semblance of an article or two has been achieved.
And then, every once in a while, someone else does my job for me. I'm not going to lie; those are the best days of all.
Thanks to the sheer idiocy that is Matt Vasgersian, today is one of those wonderful days when I don't even have to think of an idea.
Mr. Vasgersian, in case you aren't familiar, is a television personality, currently of the MLB Network and formerly a Padres' play-by-play guy. Also, he is, quite possibly, the greatest living example we have of just how stupid you can be and still make a solid living in the media.
Citizens of St. Louis, in particular, may remember Mr. Vasgersian from his gaffe a couple of years ago, when he opined, on air, that St. Louis fans should get in their El Caminos and drive back to the Ozarks. (Or maybe the time just last year when he insulted the Rams. Dude just doesn't much like it here, does he?)
Now, to be fair, when I go to Busch Stadium, I occasionally think the same thing about a few of the denizens, but I also don't spout that off on broadcast television. Anyhow, since joining the MLB Network, ol' Matty has had a couple of really memorable moments, including the first F-bomb in the network's history:
And, on Monday night, one of the funniest things you'll ever see. After Brad Hawpe of the Colorado Rockies was hit in the head, EMT's were summoned to the field as a precautionary measure. Upon seeing this video back in the MLB studios, Vasgersian actually had the tape run back so he could make a joke about one of the black EMTs. Let's watch, shall we?
The best part of the whole thing? The complete and utter silence that follows, and then, "Dude. What is wrong with you?"
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