Tuesday, March 17: Morning's Newz


Yes, it's St. Patrick's Day, which gives everyone free rein to act like a red-headed ass-clown (or Carrot Top, whichever is more annoying). It also reminds me of my favorite Irish joke.

A Frenchman, an Italian and an Irishman walk into a bar and order beers. Each soon notices a fly in their drink. The Italian man plucks the insect from the beer, shrugs and continues drinking. The Frenchman turns up his nose and demands a fresh drink from the bartender. The Irishman, meanwhile, yanks the fly out of the beer, grabs it by its wings and begins shaking it yelling: "Cough it up, you wee theivin' bastard!"

On to the news...authorities in Fenton are crediting a blind man with saving his female neighbor from a likely attack from a convicted rapist. The man heard someone in his neighbor's apartment and went to investigate. He found the convict hiding in the woman's apartment.

Hundreds of parking tickets in St. Louis may have gone unpaid -- even though people mailed in their fines. The city failed to renew its P.O. Box for parking tickets, sending untold numbers of citations to the Postal Service's Dead Letter Office.

That is all. It's a slow news day. Now go drink some green beer.