Stltoday: Clooney Seen Drinking 40 oz., Enjoying Lapdances, Racing Go-Karts

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Your chicken or your life.
  • Your chicken or your life.
This is unintentional comic gold. Yesterday stltoday.com posted an interactive map of St. Louis that allows readers to pinpoint locations where they've allegedly seen actor George Clooney while in town for the shooting of Up in the Air.

I say "allegedly" because if the actor has been to all the places where stltoday.com readers say he has, he'd almost certainly be dead or in jail by now. One reader reports seeing him "harassing midgets" in Granite City. Another saw him drinking a forty in Fairground park, and yet another reports witnessing the actor as he stabbed a man at a Popeye's restaurant and stole the victim's three-piece meal and fruit punch.

Yet another reader says he beat Clooney in a go-kart race in St. Charles. The actor has also been reported at numerous east side gentlemen's clubs where he supposedly has an insatiable thirst for the "chocolate milk" -- whatever that means.

Most pathetic "sighting" comes from a man in Overland who says his mother is dying of ovarian cancer. Her one wish? To meet Clooney before he leaves town.

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