By JASON HARPER
Kansas City Pitch

Many thanks to Mr. Kendall for pointing out this blog recap of the latest episode of popular television show Rock of Love Bus, wherein dolled-up '80s hair rock homunculus and his silicon-enhanced female entourage. Writes the recapper...

Not surprisingly, however, none of them know what state St. Louis is in. Further, none of them are quite sure where Missouri is, either. As they puzzle themselves with geography, Brett ponders why he hasn't "felt a connection" to any of the girls yet. And by "felt a connection" he means with his penis. The only solution, of course, is to take them to the Hustler Club. Beverly is less than thrilled to find herself at yet another strip club, while Ashley and Farrah squeal with the joy of a homecoming.

Unless I'm mistaken, the St. Louis area Hustler club is actually in Illinois, though I see why it would be confusing, especially if you're that bloated pot roast Brett Michaels or one of the sad old skanks who wants to bang him. But they did the right thing. As the ages-old Midwestern proverb goes, "If you ever get lost upon the plains, just go to the nearest place where women are showing their cooters for money."

Well done, Brett.