Burris Preparing to Rest in Pieces


Roland Burris, the could-be junior Senator from Illinois, is getting on in years. But even when you're 71, it's never too late to stop thinking about the future. And so Burris has created an elaborate tomb for himself in Oak Woods Cemetery on Chicago's South Side.

Unlike most people, whose headstones list their dates and relatives and maybe some lovely final thought, Burris has decided to emblazon his with the motto "Trail Blazer" and a complete list of all the things he was the first African-American in Illinois to accomplish, beginning with his stint as a Southern Illinois University exchange student in Hamburg, Germany, during the 1959-'60 school year through his post as Illinois Attorney General.

And, yes, there is still space to engrave "United States Senator" should the need arise.

Our friends at the Chicago Sun-Times are taking suggestions for epitaphs to reflect the unusual circumstances of Burris' appointment to the Senate. Unreal personally favors "The Senator from Blagojevich." Simple, and yet memorable.

- Unreal