Lunar Ass Toy, Anyone?



Is Unreal the only one who flashes to images of sci-fi monsters upon hearing the name Mike Maroth?

The new Cardinal hurler’s surname is just a quick anagram away from Mothra -- the gigantic lepidopteran that gobbled up scores of Japanese villagers during a run of 1960s schlock thrillers. (One can only hope Maroth eats up innings with similar abandon.)

Intrigued by this wordplay phenomenon, we threw a few Cardinals players and staff into the text tumbler at Internet Anagram Server. Outfielder Juan Encarnacion returned as the colorful Cancan Ninja Euro while injured shortstop David Eckstein came back A Dick Invested.

Albert Pujols rearranges to Burlap Jostle. Ryan Ludwick is A Cud Wrinkly, Adam Wainwright, A Withdrawn Magi. So Taguchi renders Hag Coitus, or, if you prefer, A Stoic Hug.

Tony La Russa, meanwhile, returns a whopping 2,497 alternatives. Favorites: Analyst Ours, Satan Sourly and Lunar Ass Toy -- which, if it isn’t already a movie title, sounds as out-of-this-world outrageous as anything Japanese filmmakers could ever dream up.


Support Local Journalism.
Join the Riverfront Times Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the Riverfront Times Club for as little as $5 a month.