The revolution is coming, and we’re beginning to think that it might start in a strip club. It's not just that Stormy Daniels has come closer than most of us to saving America by taking on Trump's lies. It's that "adult entertainment" venues have long been on the front lines of the battle against moralists who would seek both to silence us and have us cover our nipples. In a time of self-censorship and appeasement, these are the heroes (and heroines) we need.
In 1989, Miami rap group 2 Live Crew was dragged into the fight and became a symbol of free speech and proud champion of the First Amendment (our personal favorite). The group’s third album, As Nasty As They Wanna Be, caught the attention of the American Family Association — a fundamentalist Christian group that sought to impose Biblical values on the general public.
That kicked off a chain of events that resulted in 2 Live Crew’s album being the first in history to be classified as legally obscene, with cops even setting up sting operations to arrest record shop owners who sold the “Me So Horny” LP. It sparked a years-long debates over the definition of obscenity, led to discussions on the various applications of the First Amendment and exposed the racism involved when black entertainers aren’t allowed to speak about female parts even as white women like Madonna actually show them. (And it sparked a favorite rant from anti-moralist Christopher Hitchens.)
So if that happens at a regular bar, what goes down (huh huh) when 2 Live Crew members show up at an actual strip club? There’s only one way to find out. Get yourself to the Hustler Club in Washington Park, Illinois, on Saturday, November 3. Though the club is open all night on Saturdays, this is the weekend when daylight savings happens at 2 a.m. Sunday — traditionally the longest, wildest bar night of the year at what is easily the St. Louis area's wildest strip club.
It will only cost you $25 at the door (and the band plays at midnight), but we’d suggest getting one of the party packages offered by the club and making a night of it. For just $300 you get ten VIP admissions and three bottles of booze with juice and soda mixers. Or if you’re a baller, get the $2,880 package that comes with “$1,000 in Beaver Bucks to purchase couch dances from the Hustler Honeys” and please slip us an invite.
If you’re still not convinced that Uncle Luke is a hero and that 2 Live Crew is at least as important to American history as Warren G. Harding, check out the excellent documentary, Banned in the U.S.A., (yes, the Boss gave the Crew permission to use that tune and phrasing) and get yourself educated.
Email the author at firstname.lastname@example.org
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