Obviously this photo was not taken in St. Louis, or else all of these people would have collapsed already.
You've seen them before: the marathons, the 5-Ks, the mud runs, the World Naked Bike Rides, the charity walks. They all look so fun! Men and women of all ages spending time outdoors, taking to the streets in the sunshine and moving about their towns without relying on the crutch of combustion engines.
But if you're a big fat St. Louisan like some of us here at the RFT
— and, well, like most Missouri citizens
— you've likely never been able to participate in such an event due to the tremendous force required to move your enormous body from point A to point B. We feel ya; we're all in this together.
Apparently the good people at 106.5 the Arch (WARH) have our gigantic backs as well. In a press release Thursday, the station announced its first annual No-K, a fun run in which absolutely zero kilometers will be traveled. It's the perfect event for those whose idea of a good regional diet involves naught but fryer grease and excessive amounts of butter.
The event will take place this Sunday, September 16, at Urban Chestnut Midtown Brewery & Biergarten (3229 Washington Avenue),
starting at noon. Participants will run, walk or jump a grand total of one foot — a short enough distance for even the heftiest of big fat RFT
reporters — and then be immediately rewarded for their considerable troubles with a beer.
Registration is open now
. There is a $5 fee to participate, and the first 50 people to register will receive a free beer from Urban Chestnut as well as some Arch swag.
"You do realize," the press release concludes, "this is really just an excuse to get together on a Sunday and have a beer with VERY little effort, right?"
Shhhhh — hush up about all that, guys. We need peace and quiet while we train for the big race this weekend.