Photo by Paula Wood
Be very afraid.
There you are, driving along and carefully minding your own business, when suddenly one of your fellow motorists does something stupid, putting the lives of everyone they share the road with in imminent peril. Acting quickly, you narrowly avoid calamity. As the offending motorist speeds off, oblivious, you instinctively check the back of their car. It has a 99.1 "Joy" FM sticker on the back.
Every. Single. Time.
Joy FM is a Des Peres-based radio station with a contemporary Christian format, and its bright, oval-shaped bumper stickers can be found on vehicles owned by horrible drivers all over the St. Louis metro area, replacing Illinois license plates as the roadways' most ominous harbinger of imminent vehicular doom.
So universally accepted is this truth, in fact, that a public Facebook group
with nearly 2,500 members has popped up to address it, dubbing itself "People Against 99.1 Joy FM's Terrible Drivers." Within, you will find countless stories of near-misses and close calls, as well as innumerable photos of the offending stickers plastered onto the back of misbehaving motorists.
From the admin post pinned to the top of the page:
If you've spent literally any time, at all, driving around St. Louis, you have most likely run into someone that fails at driving in multiple ways, and these people often have 99.1JoyFM stickers on their cars to show that they listen to uplifting Jesus music which must make them too mellow to use their turn signals or realize that they're doing 10mph under the speed limit in the left lane with no one next to them. They seem to always be in the wrong lane, always pulling out into traffic without looking, parking like idiots, the list goes on and on.
And it seems to be getting worse. Over the past couple of years, these people have become more numerous and erratic. Feel free to post pics, videos, and stories of cars with 99.1JoyFM stickers that are incorrectly parked, driving like idiots, or responsible for wrecks. Please make sure that the JoyFM sticker is visible in pics/videos to keep this as respectable as possible. Together we can help bring light to a major problem on our roadways!
The page, of course, is absolutely flooded. The names and profile pictures of posters have been cut out of these screenshots to protect the privacy of the brave souls who risked vehicular death to secure these photos:
Members of the group take particular joy (SEE WHAT I DID THERE) at snapping shots of Joy FM drivers whose vehicles show evidence of recent accidents:
Parking, apparently, also proves challenging for Joy FM drivers.
As are gas stations:
The mere sight of Joy 99.1 FM's official van (remarkably undented), led one poster to an apocalyptic conclusion:
If so, at least all the Joy drivers will presumably be raptured into the heavens, making the roadways safe for the rest of us once more.
Until then, stay sharp, St. Louis.