I should’ve pitched a fashion story, because I am totally preoccupied by the sartorial decision-making on display today. A lot of you looked great, fellow St. Louisans, but some of you are out of your goddamn minds. Myriad hats both strange and floppy, print leggings louder than the music and enough bared midriffs to make a middle school principal lose his shit — you could chalk it up to the excesses of youth, but some of these people should definitely know better by now. I would like to see good statistics on the number of Wayfarer sunglasses in attendance today, broken down by Ray Ban-to-off brand ratio, as well as the purchased-to-shoplifted quotient. I guess torn leggings is a look now. I saw a puka shell necklace today for the first time this millennium. My therapist will be hearing about this.
The Wantonly Sexual Teenage Couples of LouFest would've also been a solid pitch.
Cheers to R&R Portable Restrooms for their generally stink-free johns. The blue piss-and-chemical mixtures pulse with bass rhythms. Hot.
Bring your wallet, because this is, in part, a soulless bacchanalia of commercialism.
Jessica Hernandez and the Deltas were the surprise hit of the fest. This is a music festival after all, so it’s worth noting that this band slayed. A Detroit-based soul and blues act with a terrific trombone player and killer vocals from the pint-sized but energetic Hernandez, clad in a black sleeveless pinstripe jumpsuit. Her best one-liner? “I’m not really a drug person, but I’m pretty fucked up from Midol and beer, so I’m feeling really excited!” The crowd ate it up.
If you drove and arrived after 10 a.m., you fucked up. A river of brake lights. I felt genuine pity for these people. Here’s an idea: Metrolink. Park and ride, people. Park and ride.
Let’s talk beer prices.
When did they legalize pot in Missouri, because there is some dank going around. The scent was heavy in the air, even though this reporter witnessed very few joints a-blazing. Attribute that to the advent of stealthy handheld vaporizers, which have totally destroyed the time-honored festival etiquette of puff-puff-pass. Where has our collective sense of civility gone? Sharing is caring, everyone.
Babes and bros of all stripes turned out for this thing. Hipsters, hippies, dirtbags, awkward teens, overexcited dorks, schlubs who don’t care, industry suits, Eurotrash, the young, the old (typically brandishing folding chairs), little kids streaking and dogs — everyone in St. Louis made it to LouFest. Well, actually, it was mostly just the white folks. Yup, lots of white folks. Speaking of...
Was this the whitest crowd Ludacris has ever played to?