That's Enough Already, Beyoncé



Recently, there was an entire Beyoncé category on on Jeopardy. Just let that sink in for a minute.

Ready? Here we go.

We are all Yoncé'd out.

See also: That's Enough Already, Dave Grohl

That means we are over the Jeopardy categories. We are over the album drops. We are weary of the gossip items, blind items, bump watches and Jay Z sightings. That means we are tired of the "Surfborts" and "Single Ladies" parodies. Even the Solange jokes, too.

But not Blue. Blue can stay as long as she wants, 'cause that child is beyond cute.

Back to Beyoncé, though. When an artist warrants an entire category on Jeopardy, it seems like the right time to take a step back. If there's that much information available on one artist -- who isn't even in her mid-thirties, by the way -- well, it should tell you something.

Before we go any further, we should clarify something. We don't dislike Bey. In fact, she's kinda likable in a lot of ways. But that doesn't stop this feeling of being all Yoncé'd out.

Remember those days as a dorky teenager, when you'd obsess over when a band would be dropping its next album? We do. We did it with Alanis Morissette after she released Jagged Little Pill. The woman was brilliant -- at least in our angsty, middle-school minds -- but in order to get another update on Morissette, the artist would have to offer it up herself, and those things didn't happen often.

The Internet was also in its infancy back then, and didn't allow for instant access into artists' lives. And album releases weren't digital -- you had to wait in line in actual stores for CDs, for fuck's sake -- which meant that there was less access that way, too.

It was that kind of anticipation, born from sheer lack of access to information, that made waiting for new music so exciting. But Beyoncé isn't allowed that ocean of distance from her middle-school (or adult) fans, because it's accessible immediately. Should she cut her hair, there is a debate on her new Bettie Page bangs. Should she dress as the other half of Blue Ivy's Halloween costume -- which was admittedly adorable -- she gets fawned over.

While some of that instant information may be born of a nation obsessed, it's also a commodity Bey takes full advantage of. Just last week, she released a "new" secret album.

But that thing is not a new album. It's a monster rehash of last year's secret overnight album, Beyoncé. This one, The Beyoncé Deluxe Set, comes with not only two albums, but two DVDs as well.

Story continues on the next page.

But that megahype over album drops was built by Beyoncé herself. It was only the end of last year that she dropped that actual surprise self-titled album, which was a fucking secret visual album, by the way. It came complete with fourteen songs and seventeen videos, and actually, effectively shut down the damn Internet -- or at least any productivity in our office -- for a solid day.

According to data provided by Twitter, the Beyoncé release generated more than 1.2 million tweets in twelve hours because, well, it's Beyoncé. Damn. Of course people were expecting a huge unveiling this time, because that's what Bey does: huge.

Then there are the 2014 world tours, one solo: the Mrs. Carter World Tour, and the On the Run Tour with hubby Jay Z (even a two-night run in some cities), but that's just in the past year. She's been on six solo tours since 2003, building that nonstop Yoncé chatter, year after year.

But how could the world stop talking about Yoncé when there are the awards? She's won nothing but awards, awards and more awards. The child just basically bleeds awards now. Some of the awards, like the Video Vanguard, even included a bonus Yoncé performance, but most are just probably handed to Beyoncé daily as she walks down the street because, well, Beyoncé.

Then there is the chatter over those coveted glimpses into her life, controlled by Yoncé herself, which are just enough of a peek to stir up that BeyHive hype every single time. There are the cute montages of Blue, Jay and Bey in concert, or the social media nuggets, all of which are dropped in a very well-timed manner.

Even HBO got in on the Yoncé madness when it premiered her 2013 documentary Life Is But a Dream (which earned a NAACP Image Award nomination), and did it again with the On the Run documentary in September. So, yeah. We've heard enough of Beyoncé to last a lifetime.

We get the excitement -- at least sort of -- but the market has a saturation point, even for Bey, and we are definitely there. It's high time to acknowledge that in life, absence makes the heart grow fonder, even for Beyoncé.

Oversaturation, on the other hand? Well, we're not sure there's a clever saying to summarize such a thing, so we'll just say this: We are all Yoncé'd out.


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