by Tef Poe
Fox News aired a segment by Megyn Kelly this week, proclaiming that Santa Claus is, in fact, a white man. Santa Claus is a fictional character based on an actual real person by the name of Saint Nicholas, but Santa himself is not real. Saint Nicholas actually was not white; he was from Turkey and more than likely he was Mediterranean. We can debate the ethnic background of Saint Nick all day long because he is indeed a real person that actually walked the face of the earth. We have paintings of Saint Nick that clearly suggest he wasn't a white man, but this does not negate the fact Santa Claus is a fictional character.
So Santa Claus can be anything we want him to be, because he's not real. The Easter Bunny is gay, for all we know. Leprechauns aren't Irish; they're actually Mexican and unicorns are the biological stepchildren of the flying reindeer. None of these things are real.
You see, this is how fiction works; we morph it to our liking. As a young black kid I never really assumed Santa Claus was white. Yeah he was white on TV but by the time he came to my house he'd change his skin color like a true multi-racial superhero. I assumed he was Hispanic when he visited Latino kids, white when he visited white kids and Asian when he visited Asian children. The actual Saint that the fable was inspired by was not a white guy. He became white over the course of time, just like Jesus, but he actually wasn't white. Megyn claimed most of us wanted Santa Claus to be a non-white person because it makes us feel comfortable.
That happens to be the one thing she said that I actually agree with. This is the precise reason she's wasting valuable air time on a worldwide news network to proclaim to the rest of us that a fictional character that never existed is actually white. This is the precise reason Elvis is viewed as the father of rock & roll even though we all know Chuck Berry gave birth to the genre. The status quo must feel comfortable at all times. The reality is, in America the paradigm is shifting. You will notice at the very top of the food chain everyone looks like Megyn and her colleagues. But a majority of us aren't at the top of the food chain, and that majority is actually a very mixed demographic. She currently represents a very small percentage of the American people. People like Megyn Kelly live in a sheltered bubble, all of her friends think like her and many likely look like her as well. So it's truly a shocker to her that the rest of the world isn't white-washed.
There is no toy factory at the North pole. There is no such thing as Mrs. Claus. Santa isn't a jolly, obese, joyful man with the ownership of a thousand little elves working around the clock to save Christmas. He does not exist, Megyn. He can be a Chinese man in a jump suit for all we know, because he's a figment of our imaginations. There are no boundaries on imagination; if we don't want Santa Claus to be white then life goes on. You clearly have never watched an episode of the Muppet Babies. In the realm of imagination anything is possible, Megyn. If your vision of Santa is a white guy then it's OK, but you can't bring historical facts into an equation that is solely based upon fiction. If you do choose to bring historical facts into the conversation, at least acknowledge the fact that the actual Saint the fable is influenced by was not necessarily white.
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In the same exact report she stated that history has verified the fact that Jesus Christ is also white. Really? I could've sworn at the time of his death he was referred to as the King of the Jews. The Bible describes Jesus as a guy with Bronze skin, the scripture also says his hair was the texture of wool. This doesn't sound like the image of a snow-white individual to me.
Megyn proclaims very adamantly that Jesus (a Jewish prophet and possibly the Jewish-born messiah of the world) was white. I guess all of a sudden Jews are considered white, despite the fact that Hitler murdered millions of Jewish people for not being white. I guess Fox News has the ability to pardon the sins of the German Nazis and re-write history so now, according to Megyn Kelly, the King of the Jews is a European white man. The craziest part about all of this, believe it or not, is that there are some people that find it hard to believe that Jesus is actually real. So for all intents and purposes we can't hide under the guise of "history" when referring to the race and ethnic background of a religious prophet/messiah that possibly never existed. I personally believe in Jesus Christ; I pray to him daily. But it's just foolish to speak on the race of the alleged son of God when there's strong scientific evidence suggesting that he may not even be real.
For all we know, God may be a figment of our imagination. If Jesus is real, many of us believe he's the messiah of the Earth. This automatically prevents him from being white, because he's the son of God. God is not white and the very thought that Megyn would suggest that his son is white shows you the unbalanced paradigm people like her operate from. I believe God is real, and I believe God is a spirit -- "spirit" can be loosely defined according to perspective.
We can physically manifest spirit if we choose. So the existence of God does have physical qualities to me personally. Hence the entire science behind the human race being "made in his image." This scripture even bothers me, because if God is actually a spirit then the spirit also does not have a specific gender, but I get the gist of what the writers were attempting to say. Even still, I'm not blind to fact that the Bible was revised and written by a group of sexist males. If they were sexist, its stands to reason that they were also likely homophobic and racist. That's just how the world functioned back then, so there's no harm, no foul involved.
If God and Jesus are both indeed non-fictional characters solely responsible for the salvation of all humans, then it's absolutely ridiculous to sit on national TV and say that Jesus is white. If Jesus actually came to earth as the son of God, then the Jewish body was simply the vessel he inhabited for this mission. But there are many different shades of Jews, and it's highly likely that he didn't look like the blue-eyed, blonde-haired painting Megyn is referencing. This is a moment that will forever haunt Megyn, but I'm sure she doesn't really give a damn, ultimately, and I am sure she is assured that white Jesus will hear her prayers and get her through this brief moment of controversial publicity.
Merry Christmas, one and all.
Editor: Tef Poe is an artist from St. Louis city. Through powerful imagery and complicated honesty, he has earned a reputation as one of the best rappers telling the story of St. Louis, which is about much more than one place. Poe has been featured in music publications such as XXL and Urb Magazine. His project The Hero Killer was released on January 21 and will be followed up by a full-length with DJ Burn One entitled Cheer For the Villain. Follow him on twitter @tefpoe. Get The Hero Killer here.
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