Getting your celebrity gossip from "TMZ" is soooooo 2009, dude. Each Thursday in "Twitter Litter," RFT Music rounds up the week's best meltdowns, ego battles and WTFness from rockers, rappers and DJs who aren't afraid of a little hashtag action. It's time to take out the trash.
YOU GUYS! We're going to dispense with the pleasantries and get right to the week's biggest news from Twitter: Nelly (@nelly_mo) is in a commercial! For Honey Nut Cheerios! With an animated bee! TO WHOM HE OFFERS A MAKEOVER AND THEN AUTOTUNES LIKE A BOSS!
We're totally going to add "You mean my honey wand?" and "Bee got swag" to our daily utterances. Visit Gut Check for more scoop on Nelly's sweet new Cheerios gig.
Old 97's frontman Rhett Miller (@rhettmiller) is visiting his wife's family in Ohio and hilariously livetweeting the entire thing. Some of us here at RFT Music are from the Buckeye State, so we're excited (and somewhat embarrassed) to tell you that everything Miller has been tweeting is accurate:
100 years ago, a family might gather in a salon to share their talents--harpsichord, opera, etc. With my family it's farting. #OhioVacation— Rhett Miller (@rhettmiller) August 13, 2013
Burping and bitching about the Browns complete the triathlon.
My wife's cousin is harassing me to "play cornhole" with him. IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY. The customs are very different here. #OhioVacation— Rhett Miller (@rhettmiller) August 13, 2013
Just don't play in the dark. Trust us.
Try losing a little weight and going on vacation to Ohio. All anybody asks is, "Are you dying of some disease?" #OhioVacation— Rhett Miller (@rhettmiller) August 13, 2013
Unless you weigh at least 230 lbs., you're just not healthy.
Headed to Cedar Point today. Gonna slam some castor oil and ride the Gatekeeper! Try and time my barf for the picture. Holla! #OhioVacation— Rhett Miller (@rhettmiller) August 14, 2013
Other popular photo pose options: flashing boobs, licking the ear of your companion or flipping off the camera. Pro tip: Do this stuff while riding the Magnum. The photo people there are most lenient about letting you buy your illicit pics.
I know Erie is a "great lake" or whatever, but if I'm being totally honest, I have to say that it tastes like fish pee. #OhioVacation— Rhett Miller (@rhettmiller) August 14, 2013
And not the expensive kind of fish pee, either. #sadface
What possesses a 13 year old boy to wear a shirt that reads: COOL STORY BABE NOW GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH? #OhioVacation— Rhett Miller (@rhettmiller) August 14, 2013
Because Ohio, dude. Because Ohio.
Continue for some human-animal tongue action.
We nearly piss ourselves when a celebrity of any worth follows us, but we think Nick Jonas (@nickjonas) is setting his own excitement bar a little too low:
That don't impress us much.
This weekend, Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) tried in vain to plug up low-quality leaks of "Applause," the first single from her forthcoming album Artpop. Alas, Teh Interwebz were too powerful, and Mama Monster ended up releasing and selling the full version of the song through proper channels a week early. Cher (@cher), Bob Mackie's favorite Barbie doll, lovedlovedloved it, so Gaga blessed her with these words:
THANK YOU FOR HOLDING MY MEATPURSE @cher— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) August 14, 2013
WHAT IN THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
Speaking of drag queen idols, RuPaul (@rupaul) put out a few PSAs this week:
August 14th is: Take a hooker to lunch day— RuPaul (@RuPaul) August 14, 2013
Feel like a woman, cover your nipples with glitter— RuPaul (@RuPaul) August 14, 2013
When you're out on the road as often as musicians are, coming home to a furry friend can be key to forgetting missed verses and wardrobe malfunctions. Mike Doughty (@mike_doughty_) and Ke$ha (@keshasuxx) proudly show off their pets' attributes, while Miley Cyrus (@mileycyrus) looks a bit too happy to be swapping spit with her pooch:
Soulful dog-as-bongo experience. https://t.co/7hrYIGGeNB— Mike Doughty (@Mike_Doughty_) August 14, 2013
We'll cop to feeling a little puppy love ourselves, now.
Hometown hero Murphy Lee (@murphderrty) shows off his STL pride, but even he's got limits:
The top right Is a female shirt..I want dat mug...don't got no muscles doe lol...plus da front might b too low sheesh pic.twitter.com/yZgpY059mV— MURPHY LEE (@murphylee) August 14, 2013
And we can't get out of here without a little sump' sump':
Murph can sing even in da morning pt.15, 390 http://t.co/8emL2vFo8h— MURPHY LEE (@murphylee) August 14, 2013