Getting your celebrity gossip from "TMZ" is soooooo 2009, dude. Each Thursday in "Twitter Litter," RFT Music rounds up the week's best meltdowns, ego battles and WTFness from rockers, rappers and DJs who aren't afraid of a little hashtag action. It's time to take out the trash.
When you open yourself up to teh Twitterz, there's a risk that someone will find you powerful or amusing enough to devote a parody account to you. St. Louis Cardinals broadcaster Mike Shannon, the "Nomi Malone" character from Showgirls and even RFT editor in chief Tom Finkel have experienced the curse of the double (via @fakemikeshannon, @realnomimalone and @realtfink, respectively). We get it; imitation is the highest form of flattery and all that jazz. But sometimes the worship is a little crazier than that, isn't it -- especially when celebrities mock other celebrities for a spell? Just look at Diplo:
Diplo (@diplo) apparently has decided that he'd like to be Beyonce when he grows up. The DJ has taken Bey's name for his Twitter profile and has been talking up the vegetable that dancers seem to love:
why did i buy this 25 pound bag of carrots— beyonce knowles (@diplo) August 6, 2013
Well, carrots certainly are one way to keep Beyonce's mile-long legs in shape, so we'll confess to believing for .075 seconds that Bey really did say this. Diplo's next tweet, though... well...
If u really wanna lose weight walk around your house naked all day I promise u ain't gonna eat much— beyonce knowles (@diplo) August 6, 2013
Come on, Diplo, Beyonce's not going to stumble naked through her mansion when she's clearly buying clothes and accessories from Target.
We at RFT Music are suckers for smarties, and Jon Wurster (@jonwurster) of the Mountain Goats and Superchunk doesn't let us down:
Teenaged supermarket employee said to me: "You can leave those bags there if you wish." Told him I want to ask out his English teacher.— Jon Wurster (@jonwurster) August 7, 2013
Is there anything hotter than a guy who appreciates good grammar? No, there is not.
SHUT UP! NO, THERE IS NOT!
Everyone has a hard-on for Ke$ha's (@keshasuxx) favorite piece of jewelry, and our cherished AutoTuned weirdo shows her excitement with hearts:
Don't tell anyone, but we can't wait to wear Ke$ha's penis around our neck:
The guys in They Might Be Giants (@tmbg) love the best things ever. Exhibit A:
Southpaws wake up and take over! Kermit is our leader! pic.twitter.com/YLq5XCqPVW— They Might Be Giants (@tmbg) August 6, 2013
And Exhibit B:
My grandma always used to say "John--every week is shark week"— They Might Be Giants (@tmbg) August 7, 2013
We're trying to figure out a way to become BFFs with the Johns and be invited over for TV marathons and Trivial Pursuit. Any ideas?
Do you know what "family" means within the gay community? Ed Droste (@edwarddroste) of Grizzly Bear didn't, but he's now part of the club thanks to a random woman:
Awesome older woman at convenient store asked me and Chris Taylor "u guys family?", baffled I said "do we look related?"......— Edward Droste (@edwarddroste) August 6, 2013
Then she said "oh if you don't get it forget it, don't want to offend"...I pried, mystified and finally she wanted to know if we were gay— Edward Droste (@edwarddroste) August 6, 2013
I said I am he's not. She gave the biggest high five ever and said "sorry to be cryptic but you are in Nebraska now!" Haha she ruled— Edward Droste (@edwarddroste) August 6, 2013
Guess she just liked knowing there are others out there. Guess we had weird haircuts and were buying smart water. Haha— Edward Droste (@edwarddroste) August 6, 2013
Lol, "you guys family?" ...now I know, now I know— Edward Droste (@edwarddroste) August 6, 2013
And knowing is half the battle.
Finally, your hometown hero Murphy Lee (@murphderrty) goes old-school on your asses:
Murph can sing pt. 23, 561 .........we screaming fuck yo harmonies ..one man band damn http://t.co/o1jpOp4vMy— MURPHDERRTY (@murphylee) August 6, 2013
Think Murph will take requests? Tweet your favorite songs to us, and we'll see if the Derrty one will Instagram that shit!