The Seven Habits of Highly Irritating Individuals (Hip-Hop Edition)



Editor: Tef Poe is an artist from St. Louis City. Through powerful imagery and complicated honesty, he has earned a reputation as one of the best rappers telling the story of St. Louis, which is about much more than one place. Poe has been featured in music publications such as XXL and Urb Magazine. His project The Hero Killer was released on January 21st and will followed up by a full-length with DJ Burn One entitled Cheer For The Villain. Follow him on twitter @tefpoe. Get The Hero Killer here.

This week I decided to talk about things that absolutely get on my nerves. As you have more than likely predicted, most of these things will have something to do with the internet, music, politics, religion etc., and most of them are focused on the behaviors of people involved in the hip-hop scene.

See Also: -The Top Ten Ways to Piss Off Your Bartender -The Top 15 Things That Annoy the Crap Out of Your Local Sound Guy

7. Rappers disliking gay people but rapping about and wearing Gucci, Louie, and Prada - You can't dislike gay people and wear clothes that are designed by gay European designers. Well, I guess you can, but you look like a moron. You can't rap about Gucci but hate gay people. This is the weirdest thing in the world to me. You realize they made the clothes you're worshipping in your music right? Most rappers love to rap about high-end fashion they honestly can't afford, but I don't think they understand the people behind the designs. Truthfully, most of these brands depreciate in value once they become too popular among black people so a lot of these designers hate us anyway, whether they are gay or straight. I never understood the science behind repping them so hard in our music. I have nothing against gay people, but if a wealthy gay fashion designer dislikes black people I'm damn sure not about to help his clothing brand make money. I think rappers are some of the most ridiculous people alive. I'm not homophobic, but if I was I don't think I'd rap about clothing made by homosexual men that typically dislike black men for wearing their clothes.This is the most confusing cycle of ridiculousness ever, but the designers win in the end because they get the money from the dumb ass rappers for wearing their clothes.

6. Psychotic Black Power people - I walk this line sometimes, I'll admit it. I try to make sure I'm a well-balanced person but sometimes I go a little bit too far with my rants. People need balance in life; when it is eliminated you turn into a walking, talking, ball of insanity. Due to the nature of some of my material I've encountered a few nutcases. I understand these types of people because honestly I'm probably two degrees away from their perspective. I'm honest enough to admit that to some people I probably am their daily dosage of psychotic pro-blackness. But here I'm referring to the type of person that's so pro-black it prevents them from enjoying life since the clouds in the sky are white. The type of pro-black person that rants about white people being screwed up all day long, yet eats dinner with Wolf Blitzer.

5. The guy in the club with the microphone, talking over the DJ (that isn't the MC) - I typically hate this guy because honestly, we don't need you. In other cities you don't see this as often as you do in St. Louis. I mean, what is this, 1974?. This is not "Beat Street" and you are not MC Busy B. We really don't need you ad-libbing our favorite Young Jeezy song like you were there when he recorded it. There's only a handful of people that do this the right way, and you're more than likely not one of them, my friend. How did every other element of the hip-hop culture become irrelevant, but you pricks never fell out of love with the overly-annoying douchebag on the mic yelling all night like this is a high school fire drill? There are some true club hosts and professional party starters that have mastered this craft. There are also a sea of horrible ones that sound exceedingly corny every time they open their mouth. It just gets to the point where you don't know if you're at a party or a horrible stand up comic routine. Seriously, please get the hell off of the mic and sit down somewhere. This is not a Nascar event we don't need an announcer.

4. The guy that doesn't come to any local hip-hop shows, but wants to collaborate with every rapper with some sort of buzz in the city - If I've never met you in person I shouldn't be expected to give you a free verse. My logic with this is fairly simple: If we're familiar with each other prior to doing the track I may not feel the need to collaborate for free because for all I know you could be a child molester or weirdo satanist devil-worshipping musician. The last thing I need to do at this current moment in my life is co-sign on a devil-worshipping child molester. 3. Girls (anyone, really, but it is usually girls) that do absolutely nothing whatsoever, dancing on stage at the club - This is really self explanatory. I mean standing onstage with the promoter while he's doing his job doesn't make you look more desirable.You're onstage because tonight you think this helps you look more important. You think dancing onstage gives you some sort of exclusivity. The mystical powers of the club stage will suddenly come to life and remove all of the ratchetness from your body. We as party patrons think you need to desperately sit your ass down. Theres nothing more annoying than seeing people onstage that are doing absolutely nothing. Theres nothing more disrespectful to professional performer than watching people prance onstage at the club like they own the place, and theres nothing more disrespectful to the actual stage than a bunch of scallywags abusing it. They usually do the ugly-girl smile, followed by the ugly-girl hand clap, which eventually becomes the ugly-girl standing on top of the speakers, singing the song at the most climactic moment of the party. I just wish one day I am allowed to walk into the building and drop kick the first girl I see onstage employing such maneuvers.

2. Facebook arguments from random people - As an artist, I have a lot of followers on social media. But on the real, I hate the fact that certain people follow you on Facebook just to argue with any random thing you say. I mean if you disagree with me and my core beliefs so damn much, why don't you just unfriend and block me? Do us both a favor and get the hell out of my feed. It's utterly ridiculous because if you notice such a person and block them first, then they will broadcast it to the world in passive aggressive manner. The problem is most people assume they're important or desire to be more important than they actually are. I've always wondered why people that dislike me beg for my attention. If I dislike you, I want to be as far away from you as humanly possible. I don't want to think about you, I don't want to speak to you. If you happen to dislike me I'm actually okay with that. I'm fine with the notion of us never speaking or acknowledging each other. I don't view arguing on Facebook as a sport. This isn't something normal people do for enjoyment. The fact that you enjoy this actually means you're a weirdo. Being a weirdo isn't a bad thing (I'm one myself), this just makes you the kind of weirdo that might need to find a hobby to allocate your weirdo personality traits to the right resources. 1. People that need too much help - Rappers, I'm talking primarily to you. Hip-hop fans, I'm talking primarily to you. For some reason Google scares the hell out of people. You can go to this website, type in a few words and have the answer to any question your heart desires. I hate answering questions that have nothing to do with improving the course of my day or helping a true friend. I'm annoyed by adults that need step by step directions. I'm annoyed by the fact you assume I care so much about your music that I have all the time in the world to help you with it. I mean, if we're friends it's all good. If we have a previously-established relationship it's all good. But if we barely know each other and we've never met face to face, it might be all bad. I'm a regular person like you. I have concerns and my life is probably more stressful than yours. I'm kind of bothered by the fact that you think my life is so problem-free that I have time to invest in yours. I work a 24-hour job that consists of working out my very own problems.On a day to day basis this job typically sucks and doesn't pay me enough. I don't think the problem lies within the fact that you need a little help. I think the problem lies within the fact that most of the time these types of people go to the wrong people for such help. "Hey man how do I get a song played during the Halftime show at the Super Bowl?" Umm if I knew the answer to that question, do you think I'd be so accessible for you to ask such a thing? Who do I look like to you?

See also: -Ten Bands You Never Would Have Thought Used to Be Good -The Ten Biggest Concert Buzzkills: An Illustrated Guide -The 15 Most Ridiculous Band Promo Photos Ever -The Ten Worst Music Tattoos Ever

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