Editor's Note: The end of 2012 is upon us (also the end of the world, if you believe in that sort of thing), so we thought we'd put a cap on things by sharing some of our personal favorite shows, albums, events and general shenanigans. Join us as we indulge in some navel-gazing!
Once upon a time, I designed websites for the advertising arm of a daily newspaper empire. And what did I put on those high-cost Geocities clones, right beside the blinky text and pixelated logos? Animated GIFs, mofos. Back in 1999, this was a BIG DEAL in capital letters, and I was so happy to be part of it that I pissed rainbows everyday.
Unfortunately, animated GIFs fell out of fashion in the 2000s, and I moved onto boring stuff like telling people what to do with semicolons. But when the crazy social media people took over during the past few years and began sharing any moving images that featured sparkles and celebrities, the GIF made its triumphant return. And I was like Bono hopping across a stage.
Check out a few of my favorite motion blurs involving song -- but please, no more "Gangnam Style."
When I want to teach children how it's done on the East Side:
Remember when Miley "Don't Call Me 'Hannah Montana'" Cyrus was invited to perform on a kids' awards show? And remember when she shimmied down a pole and squatted on a platform? And remember when the entire nation gasped at once? That was fun.
When I want to have the best press conference:
Why the hell don't musicians take their cues from the Beatles and bring some whimsy to their mandatory appearances? You could announce that you're taking a firm stance against bunnies, and get away just fine because everyone would concentrate only on your adorableness.
When I'm just bein' Miley:
You know, I have a couple of minor issues with Lady Gaga -- her music is simply okay for pop and she craves provocative attention -- but this woman completely owns her personality, and I fully respect that.
When the band plays my favorite song:
"Shiny Happy People" actually is one of R.E.M.'s worst songs, but damn if it doesn't make you jump around -- and I happen to jump exactly like guest vocalist Kate Pierson does here. Michael Stipe naturally looks like a big doofus, but check out Peter Buck's snazzy hair tribute to Professor Snape.
When I peruse the comments section of STL Today:
The Aristocats was one of the first movies my young eyes saw in a theatre, and it's still a favorite. But even my six-year-old self was surprised to see a Siamese cat breaking out the Asian stereotypes during "Everybody Wants to Be a Cat." Bless that kid's heart.
Just when I'm sure bell bottoms could never make a comeback:
I can't lie -- I fricking love The Brady Bunch. And boy, was Greg Brady born to be in GIFs. I dare you to try to look away from these gems. I mean, the boy was Johnny Bravo; he fit the suit.
What the SS Coachella should have been like but wasn't:
If someone says, "Hey, let's watch a movie about high schoolers that go to a dance" (OK, honestly, I'm the only one who ever says this) I reach for two flicks: Footloose and Back to the Future. Now Kevin Bacon is dreamy in his maroon tux, but 8-bit Marty McFly? Day-um.
What the hell? Here's some Ren McCormack, too.
When I know we just weren't meant to be together:
In 1999, my tumultuous relationships cruised right alongside those that Buffy Summers had on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." Thus, when it was time for the Slayer to break up with her fanged love at the end of season three, I was probably a bit more emotional than most. But even today, I tear up when I watch Buffy and Angel have their final dance to the Sundays' cover of "Wild Horses."
When I'm on a lame date:
Confession: I tend to swoon over earnest musicians and men who go to a billion concerts. I also tend to swoon over dark-haired dudes who simply hold guitars. Growing up, I assumed that I was just drawn to guys who embodied Trent from "Daria," but now I realize that I've held Joe Strummer as my standard this whole time. Do with that what you will.