by Dan Moore
(KCNA) -- Pyongyang, DPRK. Magnificent leader Kim Jong Il of Independent Juche State Democratic People's Republic of Korea has succeeded single-handedly in killing most malevolent dictator of 21st century with great strength of will and people's blessing. Students of Pyongyang Musical And Veterinary College have created People's Search-Friendly Listicle in honor of the magnificent leader Kim Jong Il's victory and in celebration of coming centennial of Great Leader Eternal President Kim Il Sung's birth.
Top Five songs of Year of Kim Jong Il's Glorious Ascension to Presidency follow this transmission.
5. Kim Jong Il feat. Mariah Carey, "Hero" Revolutionary General Kim Jong Il and large-bosomed mixed-race singer Mariah Carey collaborated on inspirational ballad of Juche ideology and finding that hero of North Korea lies in Kim Jong Il, grand architect of Hotel Ryugyong. "It is long road facing world alone" is official lyric of Arirang Mass Games 1994.
4. Kim Jong Il feat. Celine Dion, "The Power of Love" Eternal President Kim Il Sung inspired heartfelt ballad from Canadian shipbuilder Celine Dion about Canada's lasting respect for Eternal President Kim Il Sung in face of continued inadvisable American aggression.
3. Boyz II Men, "I'll Make Love to You" Korean Unification Council "Boyz II Men," chaired by Revolutionary General Kim Jong Il, released 1994 unification theme "I'll Make Love To You" to encourage peaceable and sexy reunification of Chosun peninsula in face of American Imperialist Pressure.
2. Kim Jong Il and All-4-One, "I Swear" Under wise leadership of Revolutionary General Kim Jong Il the DPRK "Slow Jamz Planning Agency" completed its Five Year Plan for Sweet, String-Filled Doin'-It Jamz in only four years, showing lasting power of Juche Slow-Jamming Ideology. All-4-One's Collectivist Ethos greatly pleased Revolutionary General Kim Jong Il.
This is song played when Kim Jong Il made sweet love to large-bosomed mixed-race singer Mariah Carey over and over again and satisfied her like no Oppressive American Man could ever satisfy her, even though her bosom is so large.
1. Ace of Base, "The Sign" When nordic oppressors "Ace of Base" attempted to subjugate Unified Chosun Culture Revolutionary General Kim Jong Il replaced "mind-opening" "The Sign" with music demonstrating Inborn Talent and Determination of Chosun People.