Behold the three biggest page-view generators of 2011: Tyler the Creator, Rebecca Black, and Kreayshawn. This trio has come to represent the holy trinity of overhype -- with each one famous for dubious reasons, or at the very least, more famous for the wrong things than the right ones.
While Rebecca Black is a human meme whose expiration date was passed within the first three seconds of her video "Friday," and Kreayshawn is a flash in the pan whom we desperately hope to have forgotten about come the dawning of 2012, Tyler the Creator is something else entirely. Here we break down the bad, the worse and the merely ugly of the Hype Hound Trio dominating the music celeb news cycle in 2011.
Rebecca Black This fourteen-year-old made a name for herself when her darling mum dropped four large to make a music video for said spawn. Because she like, totally wants to be a pop star! Word on the street is our media obsession is having a profound effect on today's youngsters, who value fame and fortune over just about everything else. Apparently being famous for sucking is better than, gee, a normal childhood? The ability to go to school without being harassed? Leaving the musical landscape unmolested by the worst song ever committed to film?
Her Offenses: "Friday," first and foremost. That dreck is unforgivable. As is her continuing delusion that she deserves fame, even though she's had to resort to homeschooling because of her classmates' merciless bullying. As is the fact that she's working on a f*$@ing album.
RB, William Hung called, he wants his fifteen minutes back.
Deep breath. Pronounced like creation (cree-ay-shawn) Kreayshawn, this triflin' Oakland shorty landed on the map when her "Gucci Gucci" video hit the YouTubes May 16. The video spiked to something like 600,000 views in a week, and now, three-and-a -half months later, the thing has been watched over 14 million times. As her page views went up, so did her market value: While we were all sipping mai tais on the beach this summer (read: laying on the couch watching PBS after leaving the office) Kreayshawn was 1) tapped to direct a Red Hot Chili Peppers video for $150,000, 2) nominated for a VMA, 3) chiefing blunts with Snoop Dogg. As if that didn't rankle enough, she also signed a record deal with Columbia for $1 million.
It hasn't all been cash and sizzurp for the hip hop newcomer. She lost the Best New Artist VMA to Tyler the Creator (thank science), she's pretty much disappointed the crap out of just about every one of the dozen audiences she's performed in front of -- except Spin, and let's be honest, no one gives a shit about Spin -- and she appears to be entirely serious about her ironic hipster rap (See: Rich Whores).
Also, she has lame ass excuses: When her Twitter account got hacked, she claimed "anti-Hollywood extremists" were behind it and that the nude pictures leaked after her VMA loss were "child prono[sic]" since they were taken when she was underage. That would almost be a plausible defense, if not actionable legally, because even minors can get busted if they're caught trafficking child pornography.
Plus, her posse of "bad bitches," cleverly named the White Girl Mob, have also been chastised for their liberal use of the n-word. Initially, Kreayshawn claimed that in Oakland, everyone calls everyone else the n-word, including "Asians," "Mexicans" and "black people." She's just a homey, yo! But yesterday, all was retracted when her "sister" V-Nasty agreed to stop using the slur. Finally, there's this: She got in a tiff with Rick Ross at the VMAs because LMFAO let off a party popper, and that made her think that Mr. Rozay had "shot me in the back."
Her Offenses: Amy Winehouse exaggerated cat eyes, stupid tattoos à la Amy Winehouse (may she rest), copping Gaga's patented Minnie Mouse styling, borrowed braggadocio from the Based God himself, Lil B. Also, creating the worst portmanteau ever: swobbin'. Swag+mobbin'=swobbin'. Please no.
Worst Offense: Posting a picture of herself pointing a .38 at her cat. The picture, which was still up as of 10 p.m. last night, has now been deleted from her yfrog account. Tyler, the Creator He's been decried by the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, Tegan and Sara, and just about every mom on the planet with a kid hip enough to know what OFWGKTA means. His foul mouth has earned him a special place in our hearts, though. He's a twenty-year-old with serious demons, but instead of going around pushing dope and shooting people like so many gang bangers his age, he's straight edge, and puts all his violent urges into his music. We can't fault him for that.
Plus he's like, talented and shit. Despite his totally offensive, pregnant-woman-raping, gay-hating flows, he's got a compelling voice, the writing skill to back it up, and of course, the key ingredient to modern relevance: a prolific Twitter account. You get the sense that he *actually* couldn't care less what people think of him. He even called audio legend Steve Albini "Steve Albino."
His Offenses: Riling up legions of disaffected youths. While Kreayshawn apparently hasn't been let in on her own joke, Tyler the Creator has given many a reason to love hardcore rap again, and got us all nostalgic for the days when NWA didn't give a shit and just killed it because they had to.
Worst Offense: Responding to openly gay Sara (of Tegan and Sara)'s thoughtful discourse on the phenomenon of Odd Future by tweeting: "If Tegan and Sarah need some hard dick, hit me up!"