So, this exists.
We were the proud recipients of the latest entry in the Rockabye Baby! franchise, which turns classic (read: geriatric) rock into lullabies for, you guessed it, babies. This one renders Def Leppard in vibraphones and vibraslaps, which on principle has to be one of the last things you'd want your kid to listen to. Or so you'd think: In the end, the results were basically just underwhelming (and strangely soothing). The best part of the CD, however, might be what we found across from it in its packaging: a recipe for "Pour Some Peaches On Me," which has to be the most kickass baby food ever.
Now you know. The original recipe, which retained the original song title, simply instructed you to drive to Wal-Mart and buy a bunch of Otter Pops. So this is better.