John Mayer in St. Louis, March 20: "I don't even know what napalm means," "Chubby, Married Cougar who needs hugs" and Fifteen Other Nuggets

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The RFT was denied reviewer tickets and a photo pass for John Mayer's show at the Scottrade Center last night. Why? No clue -- depending on the artist performing, sometimes these things just happen; you can't get too worked up over it. So instead, because Mayer's Twitter account is legendary, I perused the tweets of those in attendance and plucked some pearls of wisdom. As of this writing, by the way, he hadn't said a word about St. Louis on Twitter -- save for a note about slow Internet forcing him to "rotary dial his tweets."

Apparently, preparation for the show started early yesterday:

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He wasn't the only one getting ready:

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Opener Michael Franti & Spearhead -- whose leader hit Southtown Yoga earlier in the day -- drew mixed reactions from the crowd:

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After he ended, anticipation for Mayer was almost unbearable. Seriously -- unbearable.

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And so with a burp, Mayer emerged from behind a net-decorated stage, and started with "Heartbreak Warfare," from last year's Battle Studies. The show featured a Mayer beat-boxing session, him playing a guitar with a drumstick and plenty of heart-melting gazes; songs such as "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room" and "Daughters" made an impact. The last song, "Gravity," especially impressed some people -- perhaps because it involved many cellphones lit up? -- while an appearance of Heavier Things album cut "Wheel" thrilled others. Mayer also covered the Police's "Message in a Bottle" and threw in a Fleetwood Mac snippet. To one fan, when Mayer sings he "looks like Tom Hanks and Coco from Saturday Night Live had a baby" (which was later amended to "Shit, was it coco or kiwi? I can't remember. The chris kattan monkey character. I think someone is smoking weed near here"). The crowd at the Scottrade Center made quite an impression on some in attendance:

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Either way, they weren't shy when it came to bringing signs.(Some even got high from nearby sign-drawers.)

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The latter sign -- which is a reference to Mayer's recent comments about Jessica Simpson's bedroom prowess -- apparently caught his eye. According to many, he commented on it from the stage:

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Wonder if he also caught this lady's eye?

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Overall consensus was that Mayer was various shades of amazing. (To one fan, the concert was even better than Skid Row.) More specifically: The show was several hours of foreplay to some -- and something much different to others:

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I couldn't have said it better myself.

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