St. Louis Craigslist Musician Post of the Week: Define Your Terms


(Welcome to a recurring feature on A to Z: The Craiglist Musician Post of the Week. Associates and friends keep sending me links to funny and/or bizarre listings -- ones that deserve to be shared with the world.) 

This one starts off with a question that's only semi-rhetorical: DEATH METAL? It goes on from there: 

the black dahlia murder isn't death metal 
suicide silence isn't death metal 
oceano isn't death metal
job for a cowboy isn't death metal 
whitechapel isn't death metal 
the faceless isn't death metal 
abigail williams isn't death metal
What else isn't death metal, you ask?
your flat iron hair straightener isn't death metal 
 your tight and bright t shirt isn't death metal 
 your flat billed black cardinals cap with the sticker on the bill isn't death metal 
hardcore dancing isn't death metal 

your gym shorts aren't death metal 
your tattoos aren't death metal 
your pig squeals aren't death metal 
you aren't death metal 

Sincerely, a guy that knows the difference between death metal and hardcore

Riverfront Times works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of St. Louis and beyond.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep St. Louis' true free press free.