Ian found this; I can take no credit. (I'm assuming he has a Google news alert for "turkey" or something.) However, I really have no words for this here. Eurovision is the infamous songwriting contest in Europe that's spawned winners such as ABBA, Celine Dion and hard-rock hosannah-slingin' metal band Lordi.
And this year it's spawned a turkey puppet named Dustin, who's singing a song called "Irelande Douze Pointe." Off-key. (He sort of sounds like Carol Channing, actually.) And did I mention that the turkey puppet appears to be gay? In a Liberace sort of way. And that the song is totally trashy Eurodisco, ca. turn of the century Aqua. With lyrics like:
Shake your feathers and pop your beak Shake em to the west and to the east Wave euro hands and euro feet Wiggle to the edge of the turkey beat
It's also Ireland's entry into the contest this year. But it gets better: In this Reuters story, Sir Bob Geldof -- you know, the one who was knighted for his charity work, founding Live Aid and Band Aid -- weighs in:
Irish rock star Bob Geldof, who has released a duet with Dustin, denied he was unfit to represent the country just because he is a turkey.
"The mere fact of his being a turkey should give Ireland the edge," Geldof told the Irish Times.
Game, set, match. So awful it's boomeranged back around to awesome.
Here's Dustin the Turkey's performance:
-- Annie Zaleski