Aldi's hotly anticipated 2018 Wine Advent Calendar was released today to thirsty shoppers — and sold out in south city in less than ten minutes because you're all drunks who stood in line before going to work to buy 24 bottles of wine all at once, you dirty lushes.
Aldi had promised a box containing mini bottles of "red, white, rosé, and bubbles options, including red blend, shiraz, malbec, pinot grigio, sauvignon blanc from a variety of regions." And that's all for just $69.99 — meaning an average of just about $2.91 per bottle. Who wouldn't want that?
We stopped into the Aldi at 3721 South Grand at opening time to grab a calendar of our own, but they didn't offer them at that location. Then we rolled on down Gravois to the Princeton Heights Aldi, but they were all sold out — all that was left was just a sad empty rack.
Need we remind you: It was only 9:10 a.m, you plastered vultures.
Store employees told us there was a line outside the door before they even opened and that they handed out line tickets so that those waiting would be sure to get their Jesus Juice. Like Black Friday, only for cheap Advent-themed wine.
Stores were limited to twenty boxes per location, and advent calendar purchases were capped at one per customer. That tells us that at least twenty sloshed St. Louisans had already been there and left to go hide their haul from us parched food-blogging types.
And we can't blame them, really. The box looked amazing.
*sigh* Enjoy, you nasty winos.
Email the author at firstname.lastname@example.org
- Sign up for our weekly newsletters to get the latest on the news, things to do and places to eat delivered right to your inbox.
- Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.