St. Louis-style pizza is a matter of debate even among locals. When it comes to Provel cheese, cracker-thin crusts and the Square Beyond Compare, you either love it or you hate it.
The national press, though, has been merciless on the subject. And on Friday, Thrillist joined the pile-on.
The travel website expressed its distaste for our controversial local pizza in its January 27 list "Every State's Grossest Food (That People Actually Love)."
Writer Wil Fulton didn't mince words when nominating St. Louis-style pizza as the state's grossest meal.
Provel? A "processed oddity," with "ropes reminiscent of TWIZZLERS Pull 'n' Peel." The crust? A "crunchy, slimy square."
Writes Fulton, "Because of its consistency, one bite of the crunchy, slimy square — oh yeah, it's cut into squares because how can you fold a cracker? — will burn the roof of your mouth, then just sort of stay there. The burn lingers, which sucks because pizza is supposed to be your friend. But on the other hand, it's kind of brilliant because you don't have to spring for extra cheese; there's still some left on the roof of your mouth."
We'll file Thrillist's complaints about our pizza under #FirstWorldProblems. So you can't figure out how to eat our pizza without burning your mouth? You poor baby. Just the kind of ignorance we'd expect from a group of writers who think Chesterfield is the shizz
And hey, at least we're not Illinois. You can keep your "gravy bread" Land of Lincoln; we'll be over here in the Show Me State gorging on pizza.
Check out a list of each state's disgustingly beloved food at Thrillist.com