St. Louis Bakers, We Beg You: Resist the Siren Call of the Cronut™



Have you heard about the cronut?

Or, rather, the Cronut™?


Stop reading now. You're better off not knowing.

Still here?

Fine. The Cronut is, as its name might suggest -- though its name might also conceivably suggest some kind of undescended proto-human testicle -- a cross between a doughnut and a croissant.

Dominique Ansel Bakery in New York City introduced the Cronut, which is filled with vanilla cream, and the hype machine went into overdrive -- into ludicrous drive, even.

The Cronut-desperate wait in line (or, since this is NYC we're talking about, on line) before the bakery opens. Savvy and/or unscrupulous Cronut purchasers are scalping the damn things on eBay.

Unsurprisingly, Cronut knockoffs are appearing at bakeries across the country, often under the somehow even less appealing portmanteau doissant.

Now, Gut Check doesn't begrudge anyone an attempt to make an honest buck. And I suppose you could consider us part of the problem as, unprompted by any local development (that we know of, at least), we, too, have published a post about the Cronut, thus increasing -- however slightly -- its profile.

Still, the speed of the Cronut's ascent has been breathtaking and demands an immediate response.

Bakers of St. Louis, we beg you, please, to take a stand: Don't clone the Cronut.

Seriously. You don't need the Cronut. Between desserts at our best restaurants and the boom in standalone bakeries, St. Louis has never enjoyed a better time, sweetly speaking. Imitating the Cronut would just plays into that same sense of inferiority-complex-driven trickle-down trendhumping that, to pick the most embarrassing example, led us to embrace cupcakes years after that craze had already become played ut.

We say this with love. You're better than the Cronut.

If, however, you choose to ignore our plea and introduce your own version of the Cronut, please let us know.

God knows we need the pageviews.

Riverfront Times works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of St. Louis and beyond.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep St. Louis' true free press free.