Just so we're clear, the Midwest Puppy Contest has nothing to do with dogs. And Mr. Midwest Leather is not a crafter of leather goods.
Gut Check feels rather naïve for thinking otherwise.
A human puppy is...um...a human pet who behaves like a dog but looks like a man wearing a leather jockstrap and collar and sitting on all fours. And Mr. Midwest Leather is a fella who looks good in all manner of leather attire and is a fine representative of the leather-wearing community.
OK, wait, we swear this had something to do with food...
The shindig begins at 7 p.m. and will feature all-you-can-eat appetizers, a cash bar with drink specials, entertainment and...demos. We're not sure what will be demonstrated, but we're guessing it involves leather. And maybe some balls.
Of course, the real star of this show is the chili. Visitors are encouraged to bring a one-gallon pot of homemade chili to enter in the contest. Chili can be either white or red, and it should be transported in a Crock-Pot, as there will be limited chafing dishes.
There will be a $10 charge to enter the chili contest. All other partiers will need to pay $20 at the door. Folks are also encouraged to dress "accordingly," but street legal. If you feel so inclined, try to match your outfit with those of the servers, who will all be in jock straps.
Bonus: Current Mr. Midwest Leather 2013 Matt Hengle and Midwest Puppy 2013 Pup Hercules will be there strutting their stuff.
Head on over to Bad Dog to congratulate Mr. Hengle on his win and give Pup Hercules a treat for being such a good boy. Oh yeah, and eat some chili.