"Sex Drive" Harnesses the Power of Horny Goat Weed

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Mountain Screw
  • Mountain Screw

Man has ingested all manner of disgusting things hoping they might put the gusto back in his thrust-o: Tiger penis, dead chicken embryos, ambergris (an intestinal secretion of sperm whales). Why not an energy drink, which some consider the equivalent of drinking sweetened battery acid?

Sex Drive Energy Drink is the elixir that aims to keep you up, in both senses of the word.

"Turn on your drink!" the can reads.

Gut Check could've done better than that. "Sex Drive: Get Your Motor Running." "The Dew That Helps You Screw!" Or "The Fizz That Makes You ..." Well, anyway.

The drink is supposed to "increase blood flow to vital organs" and with "sexy and powerful" ingredients (Woo!). It contains L-Arginine, an amino acid believed by some to combat erectile dysfunction and improve a woman's orgasm; Horny Goat Weed, which is a real, actual thing named after goat herders thought their flock got randier after ingesting it; and Blue Lotus, a supposed aphrodisiac. It also contains caffeine and taurine, like Red Bull.

The drink is also the familiar stomach acid yellow and has 120 calories per can. Sex Drive is not a cheap date either -- $2.99 a can at the Hustler Hollywood store near the airport. Still, feeling the need to, um, probe further, we threw down and drank up.

To control for any outside stimulus, Gut Check watched the first season of Breaking Bad to make sure that our heads were dancing with the images of human body soup and meth scabs. Then we slammed a can of Sex Drive and waited for things to happen.

Larry Flynt cracks a Sex Drive with the ladies.
  • Larry Flynt cracks a Sex Drive with the ladies.

Tastewise, for those accustomed to the searing burn of high-octane energy drinks, Sex Drive tasted much like Red Bull but went down pretty smooth. The flavor was more mellow, still very sweet, but definitely pleasant on the tongue. ("That's what she said"s all around.)

Without getting personal, let's just get this out of the way: nothing happened. Shocking, really. Also absent was any real jolt of energy which is the reliable result of drinking a Rockstar or Monster -- turns out Sex Drive has a lot less caffeine than those, and about 25 mg fewer than Red Bull.

Perhaps this quickie test was insufficient and Dr. Love would prescribe an extended course of Sex Drive. But let's be honest -- this is really just the energy drink that leaves subtlety at the door (click here for photos showing how it can easily be inserted in a lady's decolletage). No one is going trying to power through their TPS reports with a Sex Drive in hand. But wander around a club drinking something with the word SEX on it, and it should be the kind of conversation starter lots of kids are looking for. We also have a sneaking suspicion that the addition of alcohol may significantly improve Sex Drive's effectiveness -- check out some suggested mixology here.