Those crazy kids are at it again.
Which kids, you ask?
Oh, you know, those same crazy teenagers who sent the media into fits of hand-wringing panic when they supposedly soaked tampons in vodka or soaked Gummi Bears in vodka in their attempts to get a quick, sneaky buzz.
Now they've turned to the ubiquitous goo of our germaphobic days.
That's right. Hand sanitizer.
Yes, apparently, there are YouTube videos of kids chugging hand sanitizer, which clocks in at a brain-scrambling 62% ethyl alcohol, and a bunch of California teenagers recently ended up in the hospital after drinking Purell moonshine.
Curious, and with a bottle of Purell handy at our desk, Gut Check decided to sample this latest attempt by America's brilliant youth to get one by their parents and assorted authority figures. A quick squirt of the stuff revealed that, in fact, hand sanitizer tastes like shit encased in a cloud of cheap perfume.
Then a helpful colleague pointed out that those crazy kids are actually distilling the alcohol out of the sanitizer using common table salt and then drinking that instead. Gut Check was very grateful to learn this because our idle curiosity was already wondering if another colleague's alluringly green aloe-imbued Purell -- we have the clear kind -- might have tasted better.
Here, for your enjoyment, are some of the future leaders of America:
Support Local Journalism.
Join the Riverfront Times Press Club
Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.
Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.
Join the Riverfront Times Club for as little as $5 a month.