Have you ever thought about how weird fingernails are? Is it possible that an entire other world exists beneath our fingernails and every time we trim them we snuff out countless fingernail-people lives? Are we the Adolf Hitler of our nail beds? These and other questions are the things that April 20 is made of if you're celebrating it correctly.
In years past Gut Check has recharged on 4/20 with nachos or home-made trail mix -- throw various foodstuffs in a Pringles can, give it a good shake and viola, home-made trail mix. This year, however, we're in the mood for takeout, because what's easier than having food delivered to your face? The answer is home-made trail mix, but we polished that off hours ago.
Fozzie's Sandwich Emporium (1170 South Big Bend Boulevard; 314-932-5414): If you manage to get through to Fozzie's via telephone today, consider yourself very, very lucky: Not only is the sandwich selection unmatched elsewhere in town, it also delivers sammies, much like that chain sandwich shop that knows its market. Normally Gut Check would chide those too lazy to pick up a sandwich but there's no food-based judgement on April 20.
Pointer's (1023 South Big Bend Boulevard; 314-644-2000): Though Pointer's is far from our favorite pizza place in St. Louis, it wins for best pizza delivery on 4/20 because it's open till 2 a.m. and sells the Pointersaurus. And though you can't have that behemoth pie delivered to your door, it's the ultimate stoner pizza challenge.
Wonton King (8116 Olive Boulevard; 314-567-9997): Wonton King serves consistently delicious and always inexpensive Chinese food, which makes it a natural choice for food to sate a bottomless stomach. In 2009, it won "Best Dim Sum" in the RFT's Best of St. Louis awards, but we'd also readily recommend any of its delicious wonton soups, dumplings or the Baked BBQ Pork with Vegetables. Wonton King also makes and delivers burgers and fries, which you might as well order, too, because you know you'll want it "for later."
Blue Elephant (7816 Forsyth Boulevard; 314-862-0500): Maybe you're an odd duck like Gut Check and a day spent in the dugout makes you crave Thai food. The heart wants what it wants and when it wants Thai food, Blue Elephant in Clayton is the place to call. Winner of the RFT's "Best Thai Restaurant" in 2007, Blue Elephant takes Thai food seriously, and if you're a fan of spice, its got that in spades.
Nachomama's (9643 Manchester Road; 314-961-9110): Before you call bullshit, we know that Nachomama's doesn't deliver, but hey, it's a Mexican restaurant with a drive-thru that's not Taco Bell, so it counts in our book. While you do have to leave your home (or work, if you're not a true 4/20 observer, you sellout) for Nachomama's, you don't have to leave your car, and trust us, it's worth the extra steps. The nachos grande and the green tamales are particular Gut Check favorites, but whether or not you're blazed beyond belief, nothing at Nachomama's will disappoint.
Dough to Door (567A Melville Avenue; 314-932-7999): Another establishment that keeps its doors open past midnight most nights of the week, Dough to Door is almost too much for our altered minds to take in. A bakery that delivers made-to-order cookies? Just diagnose us as diabetics now and let's get to ordering.