As Easter Sunday creeps closer, Gut Check dreams of baskets piled high with pastel-colored candies, chocolate shaped like baby animals and, oh sweet Jesus, Cadbury eggs. We remember well the ritual of sorting the bounty bestowed by the big, weird Easter Bunny: Would it be good stuff...or crap?
Want to avoid the inevitable disappointment of unsatisfying, subpar Easter candy? Check out our take on the 5 Best and Worst Easter Treats, which we'll trot out each day as the holiday approaches...
Best Easter Candy Countdown, No. 1: Cadbury Mini Caramel Eggs
There comes a certain point in life when you outgrow all the trappings of Easter. No one buys you a new, flowered frock with a poofy skirt and a giant bow. No one dresses you up in a pastel blazer and shorts set with a matching bow-tie. You're no longer eligible for egg hunts. All those stuffed animals just clutter up your bedroom.
Letting go of years' worth of plush bunnies or the anklet socks with the ruffled lace cuffs isn't particularly painful. The loss of the annual Easter basket, however? That smarts.
For Valentine's Day, most people can still reasonably demand some form of chocolate tribute, but for Easter, we grownups must buy our own.
Alas, most Easter candies seem designed for the palate of the average four-year-old: neon marshmallows shaped like unicorn scat, edible grass and gumball-pooping chickens. Most Easter chocolate comes in the form of large rabbits, generally overpriced and of low quality ingredients, or in the form of goo-filled eggs.
Fortunately, the sophisticated adult can resort to the mini Cadbury caramel egg. Since they're mini eggs, we can easily rationalize the calorie count, even while polishing off the whole carton. The caramel filling is salty yet sweet, and perfectly proportioned not to overwhelm the chocolate shell.
In fact, that caramel filling will remind you of Valentine's Day, and make you forget that you bought the Easter candy for yourself -- unless you had to buy your own Valentine's candy, too. In that case, have another Cadbury caramel egg on Gut Check.