As Easter Sunday creeps closer, Gut Check dreams of baskets piled high with pastel-colored candies, chocolate shaped like baby animals and, oh sweet Jesus, Cadbury eggs. We remember well the ritual of sorting the bounty bestowed by the big, weird Easter Bunny: Would it be good stuff...or crap?
Want to avoid the inevitable disappointment of unsatisfying, subpar Easter candy? Check out our take on the 5 Best and Worst Easter Treats, which we'll trot out each day as the holiday approaches...
Worst Easter Candy Countdown, No. 4: Jolly Rancher Sour Bunnies
Six months before Halloween, Easter Sunday fills baskets (and stomachs) with enough candy to induce a low-grade sugar-coma. With choices ranging from multicolored candy eggs to small, fluffy chick-shaped marshmallows, Gut Check has sampled our fair share of Easter sweets.
However, one sweet we can't stomach are Jolly Rancher Sour Bunnies. Departing from the more traditional chocolate rabbit, these tick-shaped "bunnies" come in four classic Jolly Rancher flavors: orange, cherry, apple and watermelon, and promise to "get your taste buds hopping." While they definitely do taste like chewy, tart-tinged takes on classic Jolly Ranchers, we tried them and found them wanting.
See, we don't want our taste buds to hop, scurry or sprint. We don't want acidic, citrus-flavored Sour Patch Kids knock-offs, with grainy, artificial sugar coating. Hell, we don't want citrus-flavored anything on Easter Sunday, besides maybe Jelly Belly, which frankly we're also kind of on the fence about.
If we're going to eat a bunny, it better be chocolate -- and preferably filled with delicious yet unidentified "cream" or caramel. Jolly Rancher Sour Bunnies might offer a different taste experience, but the small, amorphous lumps hardly pass as holiday mascots, and are certainly nothing to look forward to on Easter Sunday. They leave our tongues feeling like sand-paper and do nothing to satisfy our sugar-craving. However much these tart space-wasters might be "jumping with sour goodness," we secretly hope that they hop into a stranger's candy basket, or maybe just off a cliff.