Kate Upton Deep-Throats Burger for Hardee's

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Congratulations, Kate Upton! Your journey from viral-video sensation to household name has reached its peak!

No, not the cover of the annual Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. Truth is, no one cares about the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue except the three straight teenage boys who have yet to figure out that the internet is the Library of Alexandria of porn and the two others who still can't work around their parents' filtering software.

No, we speak, of course, of the soft-core Hardee's ad.

Yes, it's true: USA Today reports (via Grub Street) that Upton will follow such esteemed predecessors as Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi, professional Kim Kardashian Kim Kardashian and retired Kim Kardashian Paris Hilton as the star of an ad for Hardee's and Carl's Jr.

The ad isn't online yet -- it debuts Sunday -- but a behind the scenes featurette is:

Of course, you can probably guess what the finished ad looks like.

This:

Or perhaps this:

Or maybe this:

Of course, even if Hardee's were to parade Kate Upton around in the nude, it wouldn't make up for the company's 1970s-era assault on sexiness:

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