Pujols 5 Is Changing Its Name, but Sadly Not to Any of These Suggestions


And take your restaurant with you, mang! - (C) 2012 TOPPS
  • (c) 2012 Topps
  • And take your restaurant with you, mang!

Pujols 5 Westport Grill (342 Westport Plaza, Maryland Heights; 314-439-0595) is no more. With Albert Anaheim-bound, the owners of the restaurant bearing his name and number announced today that, effective immediately, it will be known as the St. Louis Sports Hall of Fame Bar & Grill, which is, we're sorry, just a terrible, terrible name.

Never fear: Gut Check and some of our Twitter friends, have come up with some much better names.

If the owners are intent on the Hall of Fame angle, we have two suggestions.

- Combine the Hall of Fame and bar & grill concepts more efficiently: The St. Louis Sports Hall of Flame.

- Or, as nod to both Albert's new team and geographical correctness, former Gut Check contributor Dave Nelson suggests calling it The St. Louis Sports Hall of Fame of Maryland Heights.

Of course, Albert isn't the only beloved Cardinal. Why not embrace one of them? You could name the restaurant...

- The Carlos Beltran Wreck Saloon

- Yadi & Carp's Catch of the Day

- Skip Schumaker's House of Scrapple (h/t: @eatthefat)

- Mark McGwire's Where's Your Perfect Hero Now, Bitches? Bistro

Mike Emerson, owner of Pappy's Smokehouse and good friend of pitcher (and barbecue fanatic) Adam Wainwright recommends a 'cue joint called Adam's Rib, which might be our favorite idea.

But perhaps the best suggestion we've heard comes from a colleague, who noting the Pujols' role in turning 99.1 FM from classical music to Joy FM's contemporary Christian tunes, suggests turning Pujols 5 into an elegant cocktail bar called Beethoven 5, playing classical music, showing SLSO performances on a loop on the big-screen TVs and hosting big-time parties for Live at the Met broadcasts.

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