Write a Starbucks "Blonde" Joke, Win Gift Certificates! [Updated with Winner!]

by

comment
SCREENSHOT: WWW.STARBUCKS.COM
  • Screenshot: www.starbucks.com

Oh, Starbucks, sometimes you make it too easy.

The java behemoth has introduced a new series of light-roast coffee blends called Blonde. Not really that interesting, unless you're one of the seven people left in America who hasn't formed an opinion about Starbucks coffee.

Except! From the main Starbucks gossip website -- yes, such a thing exists -- (via Gawker) comes reports of Starbucks managers forbidding employees, on the threat of written sanctions, from making Blonde jokes in front of customers.

A Blonde joke? Like: What do you call a Blonde roast standing on its head?

A dark roast!

Can you top that? Leave your best Blonde joke in the comments over the three-day weekend. Gut Check will judge the entries on Tuesday morning, and the winner will receive gift certificates to La Tejana Taqueria and Taqueria Durango.

Rules: To be eligible, you must leave a valid e-mail address (or Twitter handle or Facebook profile URL) in the comment-entry field. One guess per e-mail address. Employees of the restaurant in question and Riverfront Times are not eligible.

WINNER: After furious debate here at Gut Check International Headquarters, the winner is...Fendi Hotdogbun. We'll be in touch. An honorable mention to Bunny, whose joke didn't have anything to do with coffee, but made us laugh. Thanks to everyone who played!

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Riverfront Times Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the Riverfront Times Club for as little as $5 a month.