Are your children dizzy today? Prone to fainting? Gasping for breath, clutching their chests or too weak to brush the fecal-looking smears of chocolate from their mouths?
It might not be the plain ol' post-Halloween sugar crash. If your neighbors were generous with the old-fashioned licorice, your kid could be suffering from black-licorice-induced arrhythmia!
On Sunday the Food and Drug Administration warned that eating two ounces of black licorice a day for two weeks can cause an irregular heart rhythm severe enough to require medical attention.
Granted, that study pertains to people over 40. Also known as the only people who might eat two ounces of black licorice a day for two weeks. Still, the FDA recommends that people of all ages not go on black licorice benders.
To help us understand, here's a Taiwanese cartoon that fuller illustrates the licorice menace. Specifically, the dangers of eating giant ropes of black licorice chased with Miralax while sitting on the toilet with the Grim Reaper.