It wasn't all that long ago that Gut Check was donning our finest
Disney princess Star Wars character drag outfit and joining the swarms of greedy American children on the hallowed Halloween quest for candy. So we remember well the post-trick-or-treat ritual of sorting the bounty into two piles, i.e., Good Stuff and Crap.
Then we'd head back out and t.p. all the houses where we'd been handed lame candy. We considered the act to be a hint to the clueless to maybe bust out the Snickers next year instead of those execrable homemade popcorn balls. A community service, if you will.
Now we're on the other side of the door, trick-or-treatily speaking, and we're also working from a position of strength when it comes to stamping out Halloween-candy imbecility.
Want to avoid having your happy home t.p.'ed this year? Check back each weekday between now and the Big Day as we count down the 21 Best Halloween Treats and the 21 Worst Halloween Treats...
Worst Halloween Candy Countdown, No. 9: Werther's Along with Old Fashioned Hard Candies, Werther's fall into the "old-people candy" category. If it were any other day of the year we might gladly accept a golden-wrapped Werther's from Granny. But on Halloween, there are bigger, tastier fish to fry. Dropping a handful of these buttery caramel discs into a child's trick-or-treat bag can and will be interpreted as provocation.
Click through to reveal No. 9 on the Best Halloween Candy list...
Best Halloween Candy Countdown, No. 9: Pop Rocks There are so many things to love about Pop Rocks: dumping a whole pouch into your mouth at one time and letting everyone around hear the wild crackling; singling out one rock and crushing it loudly between your teeth; taking a mouthful of candy with a swig of Coke in the hope that your stomach explodes, urban-legend style. Pop Rocks is anything but boring. Receiving Pop Rocks on your trick-or-treating round is a rare but treasured occasion, and it is always one of the first things to go.