So venerable. So maligned. So ... squishy. Spam turned 74 years old this week.
No, we're not talking about the can your grandma's had tucked in the pantry since 1937, "just in case". We're talking about the whole product. Spam made its market debut on July 5, 1937.
In light of a recent Mother Jones article, there might not be much celebrating. The piece describes Hormel's Spam-making process in nauseating detail, including how they blast out the pig's brains to make a pink slurry which is sold to companies in Asia as a stir fry thickener.
That's the least of it. Journalist Ted Genoways goes on to tell of employees with fake names and falsified papers, a long history of questionable labor practices and union busting, and an outbreak of mysterious autoimmune diseases among employees who worked prolonged hours removing brains and spinal cords from Spam-bound hogs.
But why should that stop us from enjoying some Spam-based revelry during this anniversary week?
The Little Bar in Goodland, Florida, celebrated their annual Spammy Jammy, a pajama party featuring a Spam recipe contest and Spam sculptures.
Burger King outlets in Japan recently started selling BK Bites (previously called BK Shots) - slider sized sandwiches made with two ounces of Spam. Why? Because ladies love Spam!
...At least it says so in the advertising tagline for the Spamwiches: (Yes, they're also available in beef and chicken.)
Still not enough Spam for your celebrating needs? Then watch this guy make Spam sandwiches. Try not to think of brain slurry.