Guess Who's Coming at Dinner: A Review of The Flying Pink Pig, the Food Truck Porn Film

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Sunny Lane, owner of the Flying Pink Pig: This is one of the few promo shots we could use. - COURTESY: METRO MEDIA ENTERTAINMENT
  • Courtesy: Metro Media Entertainment
  • Sunny Lane, owner of the Flying Pink Pig: This is one of the few promo shots we could use.
How do you know that the food truck phenomenon has transcended the realm of the foodies and entered the pop culture lexicon?

Porn.

Yes, as Gut Check has exhaustively chronicled, there is now an adult film based on the exploits of a fictional food truck, and filmed on an actual food truck, The Flying Pink Pig. The fine folks at Metro Media Entertainment were thoughtful enough to send along a review copy of this seminal event in food-trend exploitation, and after multiple viewings -- solely for research purposes! -- we have only one question.

What the hell food does the Flying Pink Pig serve?

The plot is shockingly simple: Ron Jeremy wants to own the Flying Pink Pig. He hires Nicki to infiltrate the food truck and somehow wrest control of it away from owner Sunny. Why does the portly Ron -- who, thank God, doesn't get nekkid in the film -- want the Flying Pink Pig? Because the truck is wildly successful thanks to its secret ingredient.

No, the secret ingredient isn't what you think it is. It's worse, somehow. The secret ingredient is an "afro-disiac" given to Sunny (in a blessedly brief flashback) by a sweaty and afro-wigged man straight out of blaxploitation central casting.

To demonstrate the power of this special ingredient -- and to launch the mystery of what the hell food the Flying Pink Pig serves -- Sunny feeds her fellow workers "gourmet food" (tortilla chips? I couldn't tell) laced with the ingredient. The women start making out with each other, and the Flying Pink Pig uniform is revealed to be unable to restrain an ample pair of breasts.

I should mention that the signage on the exterior of the truck clearly indicates that the Flying Pink Pig serves tacos, yet in spite of this -- and in spite of the obvious potential this presents for taco-related humor -- not a single taco is eaten in this film. Except, um, you know. On the other hand, I give the production designer props for the bottle of sriracha, a.k.a. cock sauce, that is clearly visible in numerous scenes.

The truck's first delivery sends employee Megan to a rock star who's lost "his mojo," which we are led to believe means his ability to achieve and maintain an erect penis. Megan implies that the food she's brought will help him regain that mojo, and from his lunch order she takes out...a baby carrot? The Flying Pink Pig serves health food? They nibble on opposite ends of this carrot Lady & the Tramp-style.

And then they fuck.

Flying Pink Pig employee Sasha Heart, strategically cropped - COURTESY: METRO MEDIA ENTERTAINMENT
  • Courtesy: Metro Media Entertainment
  • Flying Pink Pig employee Sasha Heart, strategically cropped
For the next delivery, Sunny sends Sasha to an airline pilot who needs to "learn how to relax and enjoy his meals." The pilot is chilling poolside, which suggests he's already quite relaxed. At any rate, Sasha gives him "a sandwich," which appears to be nothing more than a single slice of bread or maybe just a cracker. It doesn't matter, apparently, because the pilot says, "It's a good sandwich," and then Sasha offers him "the full buffet."

And then they fuck.

Now for some plot development. Ron calls Nicki -- remember: he wants her to help him take over the Flying Pink Pig -- demanding results. Before we can see Nicki's plan in action, there is a strange little moment in which employee Emy asks Sunny whether she can have her own food truck. Will this subplot pay off later? Who knows? But it does prompt Sunny to utter the single best line of dialogue in the film:

"You know we're not supposed to talk about business during business hours."

OK, so Nicki brings the truck to a construction site.The other employees have vanished, somehow, because she's able to lure a worker into an otherwise empty truck. Three things occurred to me as I watched this scene develop:

1) Obviously, Nicki's plan is to tape herself having sex inside the truck and then turn the tape over to the health department, thus causing the truck to be shut down and allowing Ron to buy it out cheap.

2) Not only do we have no clue what the truck serves besides baby carrots and "sandwiches," there is no evidence of any food preparation inside the truck, which, frankly, considering what happens next -- let's just say a hard hat should never be used as a serving dish -- is probably for the best.

3) The truck does have rubber traction mats laid down, which is a nice detail.

Right. Nicki. Construction worker. Empty truck. And then they fuck.

Apparently, the health department plan makes too much sense because now Ron arranges a meeting between his finance guy and Sunny. The finance guy is shocked -- shocked! -- when Sunny shows up to this meeting in lingerie, but she says, "We both know we're going to do this deal," and I think this is probably how actual restaurant deals are struck, but then -- uh oh! -- the finance guy's wife (or girlfriend) shows up and demands to know what's going on.

And then all three of them fuck.

Emy Reyes: The Flying Pink Pig's logo is so cute, we can't understand why she's always so eager to take her shirt off. - COURTESY: METRO MEDIA ENTERTAINMENT
  • Courtesy: Metro Media Entertainment
  • Emy Reyes: The Flying Pink Pig's logo is so cute, we can't understand why she's always so eager to take her shirt off.
To be honest, the plot twists are coming too quickly for me to track at this point, but I think Sunny has demanded $200,000 for her truck -- or $400,000 for two trucks; remember: Emy wants her own truck -- and that's too much for Ron to pay, so he orders Nicki to steal the Flying Pink Pig's recipes.

Now, we have our final delivery of the day, to a film crew. Emy meets the star and tells him that she used to fantasize about him dressing up as a chihuahua and eating dog food off her body, which fantasy, let me tell  you, completely kills the mood of this scene.

Emy offers him a dish from her native country -- South America? I should note here that the film's portrayal of Emy verges on outright racism -- laced with the special ingredient, but the dish is too tiny to see and, in fact, might just be a raisin.

And then they fuck.

Ron fires Nicki for failing to do her job and declares, "This truck is a gold mine -- and I'm going to take it over without you!"

On screen appear the dreaded words: "To Be Continued..."

Gut Check can hardly wait for the next installment. In the meantime, we're going to grab some lunch. Where's cha cha?

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